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I asked my wife, “On a scale from one to ten, how do you rate me as a lover?” She said, “You know I’m no good at fractions.” - Rodney Dangerfield I worry about kids today. The last woman I was in was the Statue of Liberty. Isabel Allende Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope. Phil Proctor Erotica is using a feather pornography is using the whole chicken. Melanie White Sex is like math: you add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and hope you don’t multiply. Coincidentally, that’s the same half that say they are happy with their jobs. Studies show that about half of Americans have sex at work. Les Dawson See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time. My wife is a sex object - every time I ask for sex, she objects. I asked this girl to sleep with me and she said 'No.' - Woody Allen It's been so long since I've had sex I've forgotten who ties up whom. Steve Martin I want to tell you a terrific story about oral contraception. You know that look women get when they want to have sex? Me neither.
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